this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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