He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
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