He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
