spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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