is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
