After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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