He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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