Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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