party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize