We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
