Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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