i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just invented taco cereal.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
