Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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