You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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