so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
