so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
