ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
