it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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