I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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