I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Dignity is for republicans.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
