I am spending my child support on dildos
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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