just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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