I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
