dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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