I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
