just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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