you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
