Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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