I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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