we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
