Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
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