i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
