All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
