He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
