I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
