i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize