it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize