dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize