so explain again why im purple
no
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
