...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Watching her eat just hurts me
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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