Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
