But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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