Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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