what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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