The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
