I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
