Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
