Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
