He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
