This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
