she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
