Princesses don't give blow jobs
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize