and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
