you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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