her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize