WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
