So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
