Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
