i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
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When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
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The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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