I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
