I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
