I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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