Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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