I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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