She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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