Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
