The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
